#i think those two could b cute! id like to see them interact!!
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Hey there is a comic book shipping where you suggest a ship then people vote, have you heard of it?
ooo ive seen a couple different ship-poll-blogs, but i assume you're referring to the one that posted ahura and treste (iirc?) the other day! so yess!! im following one or two that arent specifically for comics, though admittedly i rarely vote for anything other than neutral bc i dont do a lot of Actual shipping anymore (plus its hard to get ships for most inhumans bc half the named characters are either related or have major age gaps or are a literal door)
#if ur referring to a completely different other thing then ignore that i an dumb#i dont remember the exact options for the ahura poll but i do think i voted for like it or smth along those lines ?#the aromanticism has gotten to me since like 2020 n now its gotta be real special for me to actively call myself a shipper of smth#i think those two could b cute! id like to see them interact!!#other than that. i like bb/medusa/sue/reed. i think maximus/banyan is funny but im the only one who wants them to kiss#n thats about it for me n ships so i dont havd a lot work with here :(#im a big fan of medusa/bb/whoever polyam and maximus hooking up w 80% of his friends 👍#sorry is this a tangent. i feel like im going off on a tangent#ask
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hmm. I still watch (some) dteam content because it was the first thing that pulled me back to mcyt but honestly I mostly watch sbi and ranboo. but I want to weigh in on the gay jokes as someone who writes dnf (but doesn't want the people themselves to get together)
now, im gonna be honest, I stopped watching them as much around the very beginning. I binged mc manhunt, watched the duel, and then it was pretty much all techno all the time, expanding to the rest of the sbi.
when I started writing dnf was around the time I stopped really watching them. because you're right, the gay jokes are just... too much.
im bi, nb, and friends with a lot of different genders of folks. ive got two "husbands" and some "wives." I make some gay jokes, like, if something is mildly inconvenient its homophobic and do the ooo do i like you, bits. but the difference is those are my friends, and it's in /private/.
also, its not like.... every damn day.
I like the imaginary version of dnf I write because it's a way for me to express and flex my creativity. I have no desire for it to be real and honestly would be like :/ if it ever did because now Twitter will really say that they can't be held responsible for the pandering.
and like, I feel like if they did it every once in a while, id still be annoyed but not so much that id stop watching ya know? when they're all just vibing they can be real fun to watch! but then they push the dnf thing and joke about it so much that I just lose interest.
the dnf i write is wildly out of character and honestly I don't give a shit because it's not really about them. I mean, in one dream is an immortal, is irl dream like that at all? no! and the relationship i write is nothing like their irl one! and im okay with that, I dont want them to be like what im writing! because those versions of their characters are mine. and I write it for fun. not because I want it to happen.
anyway, I just. I write dnf and I guess I think its cute, but only like.... my version of them. like, irl they push the pandering so far its a genuine turn off. im just gonna stay over here in my lane and watch from the sidelines. maybe one day they'll realize they don't need to push dnf to get views. one day -tiny
yo like. i dont Like real person fics. i could never write em. but real thats like the Only way i can envision rpf being written in a like. a way i Get? i respect that shit
i feel theres a Lot of it jus. theres no distinct Boundaries to divide fan content like rpf from the Real, Actual people themselves. i always see stuff getting at fans for over analyzing every dream n george interaction, trying to ‘prove’ they arent straight or some fucked up shit like that. but imo it aint entirely fans faults cuz. of how dteam honest to god are........ i have literally been trying to find a Word that fits it. they’re pandering? monetizing themselves as ‘gay’? using it like a marketing tactic??????? its SOMETHING LIKE THAT
but like. its such an uncomfortable thing to me. i dont think they should talk about dnf so much and If they say they r ok w such fan content thats Fine but. how they literally indulge in it is gross.
n like i feel what u say on having those kinda flirty relationships w friends like. i had that So much n i still am flirty as Fuck w friends. a personal favourite is flirting then stopping suddenly to be like ‘wait u gay fr? damb’ its Funny.
its different w dteam though because a) they have a major platform with millions of people watching them call each other gay as a Joke and b) they are So Obviously using it like. a means of pandering to their audience.
i dont want to call it queerbaiting because like. this is a Different Breed yknow. still wack as fuck but i dont feel that term is appropriate. but Straightup they use ‘being gay’ and gay jokes as a means of getting attention n views and God if they didnt the world would be a sexier place
#i realized i aint been taggin discourse enough whoops#but tiny yes i agree w you go off king#anon#tiny#hard boiled takes
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WandaVision episode 6
FIRST OFF
Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:
It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???) There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.
HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:
Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.
Two things here:
No, that’s not a twins joke.
Another Moonmen Confirmed
I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time
Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference. I am an Old.
There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep. The Setup:
The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels. It’s so funny:
The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all
The “speaking Sokovian”
The treat being a fish
They have to share the fish
The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease
“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but. the trauma is the joke. The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!
Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.
Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!! “Be. Good.” UGH.
(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice? Please let it be deliberate. I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?
)
“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT
DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.
Found. FOUND. Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.” Third Party Confirmed.
I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now. “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”
I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong. Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music.
OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:
As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period. The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!! And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!! This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.
How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.
Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft. That happened in Civil War, right? So the next ad is The Snap? We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.
90s: Civil War
00s: Infinity War
10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????
??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!
I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw. Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left. Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established. That’d be p neat. A very unique kind of chaos.
god she’s so cute
Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro. I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed? But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro? Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse? If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???
????????????????
Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking. But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.
Rule of Threes - The Reference:
Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away. I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.
That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up? Because look. If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident? With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just. There’s just too many villains, alright? We gotta start merging these plotlines.
(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up. I’ll wait for enlightenment)
Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town. Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.
ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California. In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.
So let’s talk Agnes.
Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)
Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)
When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned? Was it Agnes?
Wanted to babysit REAL BAD
Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins
Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board
Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him. Highly unlikely that he’s real
Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)
In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch
She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?
Naughty
So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right? I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right. If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).
To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied. Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.
If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???
I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.
How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time? In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors. Third Party Confirmed.
Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory. Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!
Rule of Threes - The Payoff:
Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?
Ok, final thought. I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection. Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.
These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV
A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top.
I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction. Like. LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.
(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)
This is my favorite show Of All Time.
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Let's talk about some Adventures I had in Phoenix, AZ in 2015. It came up in my FB Memories and even though I determined to let everything from last decade go, this one still rankles. I got "in trouble" with these people for being open about my experiences on my Facebook because, even though I hadn't mentioned names, they didn't like me "putting their business out there".
CW for ableism, depression, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I'll try to put all that in the tags.
My partner, Loki (yes real name), and I had been urban camping in Portland, OR for about a month. It had gotten cold and rainy to the point where we couldn't safely stay living outdoors, and Loki's father (who didn't approve of me) had demanded he come back to California and live with Loki's uncle. He made it quite clear I was not welcome, so I ended up going to Arizona because I had a friend who was willing to put me up. She and I had known each other since 2008 and I figured I would be safe with her. At the time, Loki was much more easily influenced by what his family wanted, and we ended up having kind of a nasty set of conversations over whether he was abandoning me.
While in Portland, my wallet had been stolen so I had no ID or SS card. I had reported it stolen of course, but had received no response until I was leaving Arizona.
My friend in Arizona had two young sons, a husband, and a boyfriend. Now, I have some sensory issues that make it so I have a hard time being around children. High pitched noises hurt me to my bones, like, even now I have to leave the room if my son gets overly excited and starts shrieking.
I was sleeping on the couch in the living room, which was where the kids would go when they woke up and where the TVs and entertainment consoles were.
Anyway, they wanted me to contribute to the household and whatnot but I was severely depressed and I think I've provided all the context I can remember? If the rest of this doesn't make sense, please know that there was a part 1 but it came up in my Memories on a different day and i didn't think I would be rehashing it.
So I couldn't do work, couldn't do anything anyone had asked me to do to satisfaction because various things that did not, in fact, depend on me. Maybe I wasn't being enough of a ~team player~, I don't know. But anyway, I did my best with what I had. Sometimes, because of THE EXTREME FUCKING SENSORY ISSUES THAT COME WITH AUTISM, I would get overwhelmed by the kids screaming. Two little boys, barely school age, and their parents sat them in front of a TV and gave them controllers. That's it. They had toys in their room, sure, but they weren't getting outside. I suggested taking them out a couple times, but firstly, I didn't know the area and wasn't about to go out alone, and secondly, I can't split in half and I'm not in good shape, so even if I had known the area, I wouldn't have taken TWO small children outside to run around where they could run out of the designated area. I'm kind of anal that way, I guess. But Woman A (mum) and Man B ("uncle") never got off their arses to help me take them outside, and Man A was at work.
Oh, yes, parental interaction with the kids. Woman A loved her sons very much. But at their age (3 and 5), they both should have been toilet trained. They should have gotten at least two hours outside every day. They threw fits when they weren't allowed to play video games because, instead of games being a special treat that was earned with good behavior, they were toys carelessly tossed at the kids to keep them out of everyone's hair. Conversely, and bizarrely, reading to them WAS a special treat. The father woke up, played games, basically brushed off his kids, and went to work. Same when he got home for lunch, and he *ordered* us to have them in bed by the time he got home for good. The mum did somewhat interact with them, but mostly just wanted them out of her hair. I wasn't so nice because I'm not good with kids in general and also loud screeching HURTS, IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP. (Same with snoring, or any noise made when I want to sleep.) This isn't me being a ~diva~, it is an actual manifestation of a mental disability.
Woman A was of the opinion that "everyone who lives in a house with kids automatically becomes a coparent", maybe because she wasn't willing to actually parent her kids herself.
Note from the future: I still disagree with the idea that "anyone who lives in a house with kids is automatically a co-parent". Parent your own kids. I don't expect my dad to parent my son when we go visit him and he made it quite clear when I was pregnant that he would not take on a co-parenting role (because his wives 30-50 years ago had handled the babies and he doesn't really know how to calm them down beyond entertaining them)
She got a really bitchy look on her face whenever I (who have been around children, especially TROUBLED children, all my life) made any sort of suggestion. Well sorry, lady, but it's not like you're doing such a great job with them. Y'all act like you barely want anything to do with them. Like they're cute and little and fun to snuggle, but actually teaching them anything? Forget about it, just toss em a controller and hope they don't kill each other in the game or real life. Meanwhile, they have no outlet for their natural physical energy, no real outlet for their curiosity. They're going to grow up stupid and sedentary, with "no one paid attention to me during childhood except when it was convenient for THEM" to deal with. The older kid recently got on meds for a condition that, from what I observed, was likely much more nurture than nature. And what everyone ate, my God, those kids were the only non-overweight people in the house, and it's little wonder! I bought ACTUAL NUTRITIONAL food for everyone, and the adults look at me like I'm from some demon dimension. I made a light comment about how I'd never eaten anything like what they had growing up. You know, boxed potatoes, veggies out of a can, white bread, sugary peanut butter. And Woman A was like, "well YOU don't have kids."
Um, no, but my father did.
I have a kid now, am working part time at min. wage because my boss sees my performance as so-so (plus she's been forced to give me a raise every time the County of Where I Live raises the minimum), in a single-income household, on as much Family With Kids welfare as My County will allow, and I still wouldn't feed my kid that crap LOL
Spoiler alert: they made me use all my food stamps on their household and then kicked me out later that month so... When I bought food I bought HEALTHY food, like, I've been on food stamps my entire life... Also, WIC specifically pays for WHEAT bread, fruits & veggies, and they do let you get peanut butter without sugar so idk what was going on there with them.
My father was a SINGLE PARENT raising a daughter in America after 20 years of living in Europe and raising kids with his previous wives. Well, up until the divorces, anyway. I was the only kid he ever got to keep. He told me things about how the others had been raised compared to how I was raised, and I saw the outcomes of different parenting styles in my peers as well. My father was a very poor man whose trade had been outsourced and who struggled to support us for years. And yet, we never went hungry, and he never fed me boxed potatoes. Never fed me sugary peanut butter, white bread, or veggies out of a can.
Ok I understand canned veggies are better than no veggies, and not everyone can get fresh, but you CAN get frozen in AZ. I always had fresh or frozen growing up.
It wasn't because we were living in the lap of luxury. It's because...
HE FUCKING VALUED OUR HEALTH OVER CONVENIENT, CRAPPY, NUTRIENT-FREE FOOD!!!! This is not a difficult concept. He ALSO read to me every night, despite having what I now realise was a very grueling day at work just to put said healthy food on the table. I didn't get to watch TV or play computer games (edu-tainment, the only kind I was allowed) until after all my homework was done. I can't remember if I was a particularly active child, but I'm sure I had the OPTION!!!! TO GO OUT.
Meanwhile, when I was at various stages of my life, I met kids whose parents shunted them from guardian to guardian because they didn't want to deal with them, kids whose parents were kind and supportive but rubbish at enforcing discipline, kids whose parents were abusive in every kind of way, and kids whose parents did their best.
You know, I wasn't raised perfectly. My upbringing lacked social grace and included some toxic ideas about womanhood that I've only been learning to overcome recently in my adulthood. But DON'T FUCKING ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING KIDS JUST BECAUSE I DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE ANY. I have my own life, the lives of my peers, and a wonderful online community of new parents raising children in kind and socially aware ways, to draw inspiration from. I can go to any one of them, and to my own parents, and ask "hey does X seem weird to you?" And they'll give me their honest opinion, which *is valuable*. I have even mapped out a general idea of how to get through some parts of my children's lives, and I'm not even planning to have kids for at least another few years. I mean, honestly, it used to be "I don't want kids ever", but dear gosh, if I can have any part of raising someone in a manner that defies procrastination culture, entitlement culture, and everything wrong with the way my husband and I were raised, maybe it wouldn't be a complete horror. If I can ensure that not all hope for the next generation is lost, hey.
Anyway, I've gone off topic...
I also had some issues with the men. Man B just didn't seem to like anything ever. I had no idea what Woman A saw in him. I remember one time he tried to tell me, a Christian, that I can't tell people what a "real Christian" is because it ~invalidates their identity~. Excuse me, no. It doesn't work that way. There are things that Christ taught, and anyone who blatantly goes against them IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIANITY, IS NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN. And yes, I realise this entire rant has been very judgey and technically I'm not supposed to do that either, but it's not like I'm saying they're going to Hell. Just that their kids are going to be sluggish and stupid, and I can't understand how these people have the gumption to try to lecture anyone else about life when they're not even TRYING to get their own lives together.
Yeah so they tried to lecture me about how I was "letting" Loki mistreat me and how I cared more about "socializing" with my estranged husband (I have separation anxiety) than helping around the house e_e They also implied I used depression as an excuse to be lazy.
Man B was supposedly "super employable." Well, okay, even though his "job hunt" seemed to consist more of sitting around playing video games, he was larger than my father (who is 6 ft tall with a protruding gut and weighs 240 lbs at last count) (My father and I are both 60 lbs above our ideal weights. But we're working on it!), and never seemed to get past the phone-screening process.
Now, Woman A told me that Man B was looking for work and that her family and some friends looked down on him for being a freeloader. Probably because she was anxious about me thinking the same. But here's the thing: I wouldn't have cared. Honestly. If you want to sit around playing games all day in your married girlfriend's apartment with her and her husband playing video games all day, go right ahead. If you want to bake three potatoes at a time and take them back to your room for a snack, hey, more power to you. But don't piss out the window and call it rain.
I don't care how employable you are, where you live, who you're living with, or what your lifestyle is like. It doesn't affect me in any way. But don't act like you're doing something you're not just to appease someone's judgmental family. That doesn't ever end well.
Now, see, I clearly have a problem with people who do that. I don't hide many aspects of myself, though I will refuse to answer a question if I feel it's none of someone's business or if they're just asking it to be a judgmental asshole. I refuse to compromise myself or my safe space to accommodate someone who can't make peace with who they are. Hell, you know me! You know my show!
Wait, this is Tumblr, so you might not know my show. It's a YouTube storyboard dedicated to processing and mocking some spiritual and psychological abuse I've undergone in my life. On Facebook, it was one of the things I was known for at the time because I was constantly posting clips and art, and trying to recruit voice actors.
I sell anyone out who I catch lying to me about anything! That's nothing new! And these people knew that about me. For SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.
So anyway. Woman A has a lot of great short term goals but no actual follow through because "I'm just not in the mood right now." No judgment there. I've totally been there. The only problem is when it gets ME in trouble.
"Let's walk the dog." "I'm not in the mood." Okay, then the dog doesn't get walked because I can't figure out my way around the place alone.
"Let's do the dishes." Woman A doesn't let me know when the washer stopped. Okay. Then the rest of the dishes don't get washed.
"Let's take the kids outside." "No I'm too tired." Okay, then they're going to be RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT SCREAMING WHICH MY EARS CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE so bye I'm just gonna borrow your room and isolate myself for a bit.
"Let's go to the gym!" "Maybe later." But later never comes.
Do you see where I'm going here? As for the men, they BOTH complain that they're "doing too much" around the house. Okay, probably fair for Man A, who works full time and deserves to come home to a clean house. But Man B. Wtf. You literally do nothing, except when you do, and when you do, we're meant to throw you a parade? That's not how adulthood works, or so I've heard.
Note: All three of these people are older than me. I was 24? at the time, fresh out of trade school, on my own for the first time in my life. (Maybe 2nd? I ran away when I was 17 but ended up with my grandparents so idk if that counts.) Woman A was 26 at the time and had been married since 2008, had experience with office work and parenthood, etc. Both men were older than her. I was a chronological adult with the life experience of a teenager, so I felt comfortable saying that.
So did I mention that I'm sleeping in the living room during this stay? And the adults don't go to bed until like 2 AM, which means, because of my disability, wherein I cannot sleep if there's any sort of non-ambient noise, *I* don't get to sleep until AFTER 2 AM. And the kids? They come in the living room screaming at 6 AM. Yep. Okay. Living on 4 hours of sleep, for the mathematically challenged. That and dealing with the emotional turmoil of being separated from my husband when I've got high separation anxiety in the first place. All my pain, everything, it's up to 11. and I'm supposed to contribute but there's not really anything that allows me to contribute.
So what do they do? They ambush me. Call a "family meeting" to tell me absolutely everything that's wrong with me, after WEEKS of telling me what a big help I am and how grateful they are to have me around. Tell me I'm letting my "social life" get in the way of me helping around the house. Hmm. Social life. You mean, VENTING IN MY SAFE SPACE (Facebook, no names named) AND TRYING TO MEND THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND??????????????? Okay. Well since you guys treat your woman like shit, you clearly don't understand or appreciate devotion to one's spouse. Seriously. Woman A told me she used to have extreme separation anxiety with Man A, and that he would brush off her emotions as irrelevant. Her solution was to make it a poly relationship and take a lover WHO TREATS HER THE EXACT SAME WAY. I'm serious. She got no emotional support from either of them. They basically just threw pills at her and trained her to lie down until her feelings went away.
And she had the gall to lecture me (24 at the time) about how Loki (19 at the time & from a pretty horrific family) treated me. LOL ok. Log. Splinter.
As she knew, I'm monogamous. I do have some opinions on polyamoury based on individuals I've gotten to know who are in those types of relationships, but those opinions are irrelevant to this series of rants. Except one, which is pertinent: if you're going to take another lover, they should provide something that your existing lover(s) don't. If you're suffering from low emotional support and you just find someone else who doesn't emotionally support you and who treats you like a child who can't be trusted??? What are you even DOING? Like, she told me NEITHER of her men trust her judgment. What the fuck is a relationship without trust? And don't even try "dick too bomb" as an excuse when you tell me you haven't gotten laid in months and your husband is using your condoms on Woman B.
They don't support you. They don't trust you. And yet YOU'RE telling ME that things with my husband won't get better unless I follow your lead and take another lover? HELL TO THE NO. My husband has his faults, but if I tell him Person X can be trusted, he believes me.
Except for his ex-girlfriend whom he tried to add to our relationship when he tried to be poly, months later. That went Badly.
Or maybe he just knows I'll deal with them myself, with my hot, hot temper, if they turn out not to be trustworthy. He also doesn't treat me LIKE A CHILD. And while I sometimes point at things and make small motions when I can't physically talk, or sometimes even use baby talk when I'm feeling cutesy, I DON'T POINT AT A PIECE OF PAPER AND GO "THE CARRRRRR!!!!" IN AN INCREASINGLY HIGHER PITCH BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY, "Honey, I think we missed the car payment this month. Can you double check while the agent has you on hold, please?"
Okay, being a dick about losing words due to stress was not my finest moment, but at the time, I was just so appalled by how they treated her and how she allowed them to treat me.
So basically these adults who are nowhere near having their lives together, and aren't even really trying, put me on blast for not having everything running perfectly when THEY expected it to.
Let's reiterate. I couldn't get a job because I had no ID or social security card. I was waiting for them to be returned to me. I couldn't walk the kids or the dog, go to the gym, or complete all the household chores because no one would guide me. I need that guidance because of various components of my disability, which I really hate admitting to because I'm super fucking prideful, but I figured hey, she's not neurotypical either. These people will understand.
Their response when I brought this up? "You're an adult. You should know better." Sure, okay. But you should know that a child ought to be potty trained before he turns 5, or even 3; that kids need to run around, are entitled to their parents' attention and consistent discipline, and need!!! healthy!!!! food!!!!
Oh, discipline! So, she would send Older Boy to his room over misbehaving. But rather than enforce time-out, she'd go, "oh, I think I'm being too haaaard on him," and just... Relinquish. He's not about to learn anything that way, ma'am.
They called me trying to reconnect with the person I love more than almost anyone on this earth "obsessing over your social life". Well again, you treat your woman like shit, so MAYBE my undying devotion to the person I love goes a LITTLE bit over your head.
They told me that the household should be my first priority. Except no, because I am an autonomous person and my FIRST PRIORITY is, was, and ever has been the love of my life, whomever that may be at the time. That is 70% of my personality. I'm pretty sure anyone who had ever met me can vouch for my extreme devotion, and this woman had known me for SEVEN. YEARS. I'm not going to throw away 70% of myself to do an impossible task that no one will help me with.
They told me a lot of things I wasn't doing right, and for those of you who also struggle with anxiety and depression, you know that being told for weeks that everything is okay and you're so great and so helpful, and then being told that you're rubbish at everything... You know that that is hurtful. Devastating, even. I wanted to kill myself. I said that. I said that and expressed my feelings about some other things, in my safe space, without naming any names.
And even though I was posting in my safe space, I was polite about it. I was as gentle and rational as possible. I wasn't calling anyone out. Not like I am now. I wasn't trying to lead a witch hunt. I was just overwhelmed and trying to express my feelings. Trying to get myself not to kill myself. I had to tell myself over and over again that it's not what Loki would want for me.
In the morning, they woke me up and kicked me out. Said it was rude for me to say I don't care about their household. I never, NEVER said that. I said "Loki is my first priority." Something along the lines of "that's just how I am and I shouldn't be vilified for it." That doesn't mean I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IT JUST MEANS THAT MY PRIORITIES WILL *NEVER* BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS THEM TO BE. I AM A PERSON. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT TO PRIORITISE, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!
I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. MY NAME IS *SIGYN*. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES EXPECT?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOU HAVE FELT THREATENED BY ME SAYING ANYTHING IF I DIDN'T NAME NAMES AND WAS ACTUALLY RATIONAL? IF YOU SAW THIS, *MAYBE* YOU WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PISSY, BUT NOT THEN!
They kicked me out after having asked me to buy them all food. I had used up all my food stamps. Because I hadn't anticipated this at all. I hadn't known they would take such offence to my existence, to my ways. To the fact that I value the man I married more than I value... Whatever they wanted me to value, I guess.
Fun fact: I ended up in a women's shelter after this, and one woman told me to actually kill myself because she was tired of hearing me cry at night.
They said I hadn't made any effort to get my life on track. Because I can just snap my fingers and make my ID appear. Because I can just manifest the money for a replacement. They said all these things that left me almost unable to breathe, in retaliation for me posting that I was suicidal.
Later, Woman A told me that this had been a long time coming and that they were trying to make room for Woman B and Woman C, both of whom were willing to have sex with the men, which is something that I would not. I feel the first woman I met at the shelter was accurate when she said they basically kicked me out because I wouldn't sleep with them.
I also later found out that my ID and SS card had been returned to sender. The Portland PD called me and told me. So my father came to the conclusion that the people I had been staying with sabotaged me from the start. For a while, I didn't feel it, but last night I dreamed about it, and the dream made me angry. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. And I really had to get all this off my chest, so for those of you who didn't immediately whip out your tiny violins, thank you.
#ableism#depression#rejection sensitive dysphoria#sensory sensitivity#child neglect#child abuse#resource insecurity?#i forgot about the part where someone tried to mansplain Christian gatekeeping to me#emotional abuse#polyamory but make it toxic#suicidal ideation
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Review Response, Dec 22 - 28, 2019
“28″, but I’ll be including the reviews that came in this morning. Because hey.
And... there are a lot. The most this year.
Legacy Prologue - Kalos
1) That first part DEFINITELY reminded me of the XY chapter, except Y is being the Hikikomori (shut-in) and X is trying to drag her out... It’s a good role-reversal!
I also wanted it to be like the time in XY where Y found out what happened to her mother and she got super depressed. Except this time, X tries to do something about it. Finally.
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Legacy #008
1) LOVED IT!
Thank you!
2) Poor moon. I loved this chapter
Hey, it’s you! <3 Thank you kindly.
3) WoW cool chapter. So blue confessionele next chapter hopefully? Lol have been waiting on that for the entire story so Lets hope its the case
Haven’t we all. ... Except for those that don’t like this pairing...
4) It’s nice to see platinum trying to help blue move things was a good chapter with nice interactions with the juniors and seniors all under the same roof
It’s like a big Dex Holder family! ... But not too big, since there are far too many of them nowadays! And despite Platinum not really wanting to get involved, she helps out anyways, as “foretold” by the Headcanon Chronology!
5) While Moon really should rest, the idea of her getting that Spirit of Vengeance team you posted about on your Tumblr sounds way too awesome. ...Also Umbreon bias since it's my first (and only) shiny, but yeah.
Poor Blue - it really is probably only going to hurt her the longer she keeps it in. Wonder how that is going to play out, since I guess Platinum's now put things in motion. I think the first scene in this chapter is the one I enjoyed the most.
Damn, for Moon's Pokemon to die like that...that's gotta be traumatizing. I have to admire that determination though, even though she's shaping up to be a revenge-obsessed character from what I see.
Awesome chapter as always and can't wait for the next one!
Hehe. Spirit of Vengeance. The amount of curse in that team would be quite terrifying. Hehehe... ... Only shiny, you say? Aww...
Platinum has gotten the ball rolling despite not really wanting to. MVP of the confession? Hehe... Sisterly bonds, indeed. Now, will it work out in favor for Blue??
Moon can’t be filled with a lust for vengeance if none of her friends and Pokemon have perished. And so now she rises from her agony with ice cold determination for blood to be spilled for the blood that had been shed. ... Or does that saying go the other way around? Heh. Regardless. She’s pissed, has a bow, lethal poison, and soon to be a team packed with ghosts (and Dark types).
Thank you as always! And you won’t have to wait long~!
6) Eh lucky really isnt my cup of tea but the way you write stories is pretty awesome keep up the good work!
I could tell by the anon ID you picked. To each their own. And thank you!
7) Awww blue being so shy hahahaha. Its like the roles have reversed since the first time they met thats so cute! Anyway Great story as usual
Hehe. Timid Blue~! It’s new and very cute, isn’t it? And thank you.
8) Hey man Great story looking forward to the next chapter
Thank you. It’s coming very soon.
9) Wow this is A really underrated story I really like how you keep most characters so in character!
Still underrated... in comparison to my previous stuff. But that’s to be expected, I guess. And thank you.
10) Well Colour me surprised ! A Pokemon story thats not forcing crack pairings! Anyway Where is green in this story?
Heh. Crack pairings... Only once in a solar eclipse. And... who? Heh. He’s in Kalos and thus off screen.
11) Wtf did moons Pokemon just die? Great story but damn thats fucking dark
Yes they perished in the fire. “Die, insect” and all. ... And one of them was an insect! Heh. Ahem. ... Dark? That’s not dark. Have you seen the stuff I did in SA and Destiny? Heh...
12) I mean I kinda like the story but isnt specialshipping canon? Also this is really really dark
No, it’s not canon. What is canon is that Yellow has a crush on Red. What’s also canon is that Red is uncomfortable with the idea. And of course he is. He thought she was a guy the whole time and then suddenly found out all at once that she was a girl and had a crush on him. His response is not going to be positive. And again, this is not dark. ... Though I guess that depends on your sensitivity.
13) hey sorry for not leaving A review for so long but I still really like the story lol!
Hey, you’re back. ... Then... who’s the anon with the v2 of your ID?
14) I love your writing style!
Thank you!
15) I somehow found Pearl smacking Black across the face to wake him up funnier than it should’ve been. Haha
I wonder if Blue really will confess to Red today. If so, I wonder how the opportunity would present itself.
Its quite sad that Hau, Lillie, and two of Moon’s Pokemon died. I guess this is where Moon’s overhaul comes in. I cant wait to see Moon’s viciousness unleashed when she inevitably meets the guys responsible for all that.
I look forward to more!
Hehe. Black always getting smacked around in my stories, literally and figuratively.
Will Blue truly confess on that day (which is a day before the stuff in Alola happens), or will she fail again due to anxiety? And will it end well for her??
Moon’s overhaul is happening now, yes. For that, she’ll have to go to Galar too. And I don’t know sh*t about that region, so... that’ll be difficult. Hehe. And much later in the story when she meets her foe... oho, Rage Unleashed Moon!
16) Moon and Lillie sure get burned really bad. Also, what about the kid with the malasadas? Hopefully, Blue will confessed to Red soon...
The local boy with the malasada had the same fate as Lillie. Two stretchers with a body on top, with the white blankets pulled all the way up.
17) I figured that now would be the best time to give a review for one of your works. therefore, I should review my personal favourite.
I been a consistent and long-time reader for numerous years now without ever leaving a review. I simply didn't have an account until recently just so I can give my thoughts on some of the series that you make.
Regarding Legacy as a whole, it truely showcases your ability to take the wide variety of dexholders and thiee different personalities and place them in situations that would absolutely never occur in the actual story. I have always loved the way you portray each individual character, improving thier teama and strategies and having genuine character growth. Although Sun and Moon are my uncontested favourite characters so far, I adore the way you use Platinum B in your stories, giving her a genuine personality and character traits.
You also generate a wide range of different and creative settings for each of the characters to go through. Legacy is the perfect example of this in terms of one truely coherent story setting. by using the opportunity of the highest stakes that these dexholders may ever face, you use the opportunity to explore all of the aspects of each character amazingly and how they would face this danger.
Since Sun and Moon are my favourite characters, the wait for this chapter absolutely killed me. Although it sucks that due to the lack of reviews for these characters I will get few opportunties to read your way of presenting the characters What I am trying to say is that the way you write your characters makes them feel REAL. I genuinely believe that these are the actual characters as they personalties are replicated and refined to perfection The way both Sun and Moon react in this chapter is exactly the way I would have expected them to. Being a Deliveryshipping day 1, seeing even the slightest interactions in any media, especially in your stories always brings joy to me. I have regulary reread most of your works such as Special Chronicals and Distinct Events becuase each story is chapter is amazing in its own right.
Your amazing work has inspired me to possibly start my own project one day. I am sorry for the stress that you have gone through this year and the issues with the Discord. It will get better this year. Seeing as you use reviews to indicate the popularity of a particular series, I had to write this review so that this series can get the update it deserves so that we can all see how this fantastic story ends. Thank your for all of the amazing work you have done.
Whoa, hello. Haven’t gotten a review this long since a certain someone stopped with Destiny reviews back in July.
Accounts aren’t necessary for the reviews. Guest reviews exist! And if you use the same anon ID, I’d know it’s you. But thank you for going through the effort! It’s much appreciated!
Aww, thank you very much! <3 And while I don’t know about Sun, but Moon is going to be in the spotlight quite a lot, so enjoy it! Since Platinum is my uncontested favorite, she gets plenty of development in my stories, with new character bonds, teams, battling style, etc. And unlike in DPPt, she actually gets to do things against the enemy.
Of the three major stories I’ve written (SA, Destiny, Legacy), Legacy has the lowest stakes. But I think it’s also the most personal, which I guess means it’s much more important for individual Dex Holders. Well, we’ll see as time passes. And yes, these are kind of things that would never happen in the actual arcs, so the Dex Holders get to be stress-tested. How would they react given their personalities, tics, relationships, etc, in a realistic situation?
Oh. ... Ahem. Sorry for making you wait 7 months. Ehehe... And while it’s true that Sun and Moon currently have the lowest “viewership”, that changes as time passes. Like Black and White in SA and X and Y in Destiny. As the “meh” torch is passed down to Sword and Shield, Sun and Moon might rise in popularity, thus increasing the chances of them appearing in my stories.
I don’t really know if this was how Sun would react though. But I also don’t know how he would’ve actually reacted, so this might not be outside the possibility range. I kind of had him act like Black, really, but without being as sweet... or loud. Well, there will be more Sun & Moon interactions for you to enjoy in the upcoming chapters, so... there you go!
You should start your own project! Go for it! And eh, Discord. Sh*t happens. I wouldn’t call that stress. Anyways. Yes, I use the review count as an indicator of how many people have finished the chapter. Of course, there are plenty of people who read the chapter to the end without reviewing, and the number of people who review after reading tends to fluctuate. But if there is a trend, that indicates a trend in viewership as well. And that is what I look at. Hence the charts. And yes. We’d all like to see how the story ends. Me included. Keep up with the reviews and we’ll all see it by 2021.
And thank you so much for the review and the... sweet talking. Hehe <3
18) Just found this story and am enjoying it thoroughly. Big fan of your Blue characterization as well, I used to enjoy shipping Red with Yellow, but recently, I've come to enjoy Blue with Red.
A small nitpick - Did none of the juniors comment on Red and Blue sleeping in the same room/bed while they stayed in Red's house in the last two chapters? I would assume the female juniors already know Blue likes Red and so won't say anything unnecessary, but I guess the guys are a little more tactful than we give them credit for?
Looking forward to me. Cheers.
Red with Blue works very well. And it’s cute! Hehe... ... biased.
Heh. The girls... already know, since the girls who are in the house were Platinum, White, and Y, and they already know of Blue’s crush and all that. So White and Y would just snicker at the fact that Red and Blue are sleeping on the same bed, while Platinum would just smile. As for the boys... Diamond might notice something if he spent more time talking to Red and Blue before and after. But I doubt Pearl or Black would notice anything odd. They’d probably just assume that Red and Blue are sharing the bed because a ton of guests were sleeping in the living room, so there were no other options.
Of course, all that’s assuming that the juniors know that Red and Blue are sleeping on the same bed. I don’t recall having Red and Blue give them a tour of the house, so as far as the juniors know, there might be another bed upstairs. ... Though a house tour is generally the first thing you do, but... heh. Ambiguity. No one knows for sure.
And I look forward to seeing more reviews from you!
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Well well. Would you look at THAT. Way above the average now. So... looks like I’ll have to keep my word and update Legacy again before this year ends in 3 days. Heh. Of course, I did notice a few things but... well... whatever.
18. That’s the most reviews I’ve gotten in a chapter in all of 2019. Or 2018. ... And vast majority of 2017 (Legacy Prologue - Kanto was in January 2017). If this kind of thing happened much more frequently, I would be updating Legacy like once every two weeks, instead of 3~4 times in a year.
But, there you have it! New record in almost 3 years. As a result... Legacy update in 3 days.
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DE #031
1) Sun and moon are so cute. I love them
Support the new...ish pairing!
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And with that, DE #031 is no longer in the top 4 least reviewed. Yay!
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SC #017
1) Awesome story.
Thank you.
2) Well that was...brutal alright. Thugs deserved it though. I'm mildly surprised no one died, but I think that's more because I'm used to seeing that from your old "doom hammer" chapters.
I admit the Santa part was an amusing touch, and I guess that explains why you needed to release this by the end of the year. Heh, Blue's gadgets are useful as always and very effective - that's a nice disguise. That action scene was awesome and easily the best scene in this chapter. The situation aside...it was nice to see Red be a hero even without his Pokemon.
You were right - this is an enjoyable chapter and I like this "brutal Red" experiment. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Heh. The doom hammer is for serious stories. Not comical ones. So no one dies in the hands of Santa Claus. This time.
Ahem. Well, there’s the inspiration for the chapter, and the reason behind the line of “Or Santa will go jolly on your naughty asses with a candy cane axe”. Hehe. Cheers, everyone, Santa has come to town!
And the duo of Red and Blue becomes much stronger. Mercenary Red with technological support!
Hehe. Much more serious brutal Red (instead of comical) to come up later as the experimentation continues. Ohoho!
3) holy crud, santa beating up a gang is greatest thing ever
Yep. Santa going to town on their naughty asses with a candy cane bat. What’s not to love?
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And with that, the latest SC chapter is now in the top 4 least reviewed. For now?
... Looks like the “A Day at Work” chapters are failing miserably, since they’re at 1 and 3 reviews respectively. So... I guess I won’t be doing that again.
And with this, the longest review response post of 2019 has come to an end.
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Run My Mouth (Monet x Monique)- Ortega
a/n: i actively refuse to type the word Momo into existence bc i refuse to associate that fucking horrendous face with these cute af idiots. this is my entry to the fic challenge bc someone wanted Monet x Monique and i wanted out of the Branjie emotion pit! this is filling the cliches 3 (enemies to lovers) and 7 (A has a sexy dream about B) and also is of course a lesbian au bc that seems to be the only currency i deal in. it’s also set within the Just The Game We’re In universe if anyone’s interested, and is also probably horrendously ooc. christ i’m good at selling my fics!! credit where credit’s due, the “holy trinity of why” was stolen from The Thick Of It, the song on Monique’s insta story is Own It by Ella Mai, and “panini head” is stolen from Gordon Ramsay. hope u all enjoy!
Summary: Guardian journalist Monet X Change arrives at the Ministry of Defence to run a piece on Shea Coulee. She didn’t expect to be distracted by a bad-tempered band 1 comms girl who seems intent on driving Monet to distraction entirely through sarcastic remarks, tattoos and acrylic nails.
***
Journalism. What did it all actually mean? When it came down to it, all it was was writing about stuff that happened in the world. All it was was retelling a story. But then nobody ever really seemed to view it that way, Monet thought to herself, as she scuffed one high heel against the rough, sandpaper-like carpet of the lobby and continued to wait.
It was never as simple as just writing, though. Fuck, if that was all journalism was then how many horrific atrocities could have been avoided just through the lack of coverage and platforming alone? There was always an agenda to push despite Monet’s personal feelings on the situation, and she always just had to put up and shut up. For example, today. What Monet really should have been writing about was the Ministry of Defence’s catastrophic overspend, but someone high up in the party (probably Bianca Del Rio, Monet reasoned) had made some sort of deal with Bob to avoid excessive coverage of it. This surprised Monet as, before she’d started working at The Guardian, Bob had been part of Phi Phi O’Hara’s party as their press secretary. Still, even if Monet didn’t know the finer details of how politics worked she knew what a threat or a bribe looked like, so instead of writing about anything juicy or remotely interesting she was here, in the offices of the MOD, waiting on Shea Coulee. Bob had sent Monet out to do some private life piece, some sort of day-in-the-life of a department minister thing that was set to last for a fortnight. Shea would hate it as it meant Monet would be exposed to all sorts of potential party fuck-ups. Monet would hate it because it was a bunch of writing which was of absolutely no consequence. The Guardian’s readers would hate it because it was an article attempting to humanise a politician, and Monet knew people hated those, so there it was. The hat trick of fuck.
She waited dispassionately in the lobby, her heels swinging and scuffing the carpet with every passing second. She didn’t know how long she’d been doing it, or how many times, but there suddenly came a voice from one end of the corridor.
“‘Scuse me, ma'am.”
She didn’t turn around at first. In all honesty, Monet’s ego meant that she thought that anyone in the building would be addressing her by her last name, with a Ms. in front of it. So she kept swinging and scuffing.
The sound of heels came down the corridor. “Ma'am!”
Monet whipped her head around, slightly startled at the louder sound. She was met with a girl- early twenties, she would guess, in a smart black pencil skirt and suit jacket combination with a bright white shirt underneath. Her black hair was pinned up in a neat bun with a few strands helping her fringe frame her face, which was currently set into a scowl. Monet initially thought the girl was there to take her to Shea, however seeing the tray of coffees she was carrying made her second-guess. She frowned up at her from her position on the small sofa-lounger-thing she had been perched on. Monet’s back was already up and she hadn’t even said two words to her.
“Yes?”
The girl’s scowl deepened. “Are you aware that this is a ministerial department?”
Monet bit back a laugh. “Yes.”
“So you know that if you’re waiting here, you can’t sit and wear the carpet out like a pacing bear in a zoo, correct?” a smile finally came over the girl’s face, albeit a fake one. Monet briefly noted her eye makeup- bright and extravagant, a bit much for a day at work but still pretty and expertly applied. She decided to return the fake smile.
“Well thank you so much for that advice! I’m always really keen for pointers on office decorum by girls that look like their makeup was done by a blind toddler playing with dried up poster paints. Now,” Monet sighed lazily, pleased at the way the girl’s jaw had visibly dropped. “can you please make yourself useful and find me somebody that works for Shea Coulee? Because I’ve been waiting here a while.”
The other girl’s face was stony as she addressed her. “I work for Shea Coulee.”
Monet’s heart bunjee-jumped into the pit of her stomach. Shit. Okay, fuck, she didn’t need to panic. She was still holding the coffee tray, so that clearly didn’t indicate a senior position. The other girl’s face was set into a shit-eating smile, clearly happy to have scared her. This only served to rile Monet further. “Well, could you please check that she’s ready to see me? I’m Monet Change, I’m from The Guardian. I’m doing a piece with Ms. Coulee.”
The other girl narrowed her eyes in distaste. Monet noticed that they were deep brown, making them seem huge. “You got an ID?”
Monet rolled her eyes. Briefly, she cast an eye to the girl’s hand. “Are the office coffees not getting cold, tea girl?”
The girl looked briefly as if she’d been slapped in the face. Monet snorted. This was fun. She watched as the girl looked nervously down the corridor, then at the drinks in her hand. Monet almost felt sorry for her, until the girl frowned at her again.
“We’re living under a severe and constant terror threat, Ms. Change, and precautions are precautions,” she pouted, her face like vinegar. She held her hand out and Monet cast an eye over a set of neon green acrylic nails. With a small jump to her heart, she noticed that the nails on her index and middle finger were cut shorter than the others. She looked up at the girl and caught her eye. Another fake smile came her way. “ID.”
“Well how should I know you even work for Shea Coulee? Where’s your ID?” Monet answered back, taking far too much delight in the way the other girl pouted before taking her free hand and sticking her middle finger up in Monet’s face.
“There’s my ID, bitch! Do you want me to go get Ms. Coulee or not?”
“Monique, what the hell are you doing?” came a sudden voice from up the corridor, making the girl jump. A little splash of coffee jumped out from under the lid and landed on her wrist, and Monet didn’t miss the way she hissed a little through her teeth. She felt bad. Turning her eyes up the corridor, Monet saw who the voice was coming from- real and in-person Shea Coulee, with her neat dreads cascading down her shoulders and back and over her red shift dress. She radiated power, and Monet felt suddenly intimidated. The girl opened her mouth to speak, but Shea simply raised a hand and gave a light shake of her head. “I think you’d better get back to the office, don’t you? I don’t think any of us ordered an iced latte.”
The girl nodded sharply and walked briskly down the corridor, but not before she gave one final look to Monet that was mixed with anger, annoyance, and something else she couldn’t quite decipher.
“Ms. Change, isn’t it?” Shea turned back to Monet and held out her hand, smiling as she took it to shake. “Pleased to meet you, I’m excited to be working with you. I have to apologise for Monique’s behaviour, she’s a complete hothead and she shouldn’t even have been interacting with you.”
Monique. It was a nice name.
Monet picked up her bag as Shea began walking down the corridor, quickening her pace to follow her which was tricky in her heels. “So uh, she’s not one of your advisors?”
Shea snorted a laugh. “Please. She’s a junior civil servant. You’ll meet my advisors, they’re just in the office.”
Monet thought for a moment. “So I don’t really need to interact with Monique at all during my time here then?”
“Oh, no. Don’t worry about that. You’re not going to be in with the little people,” Shea dismissed her with a wave of her hand as she walked into the bright and airy office space.
Good. It was good that she wasn’t going to be seeing Monique. Following Shea through to her office, Monet’s eyes scanned the room and somehow came to rest on Monique’s brown ones. Monique blinked once in surprise, then gave Monet a nasty look.
She was a total bitch, anyway.
***
Day five, and the end of week one. Monet would be lying if she said the whole thing was as boring as she’d thought it would be. Sure, the actual writing itself was boring. It turned out that a private life piece on Shea Coulee at work unsurprisingly consisted of Shea Coulee doing lots of work. Monet had met her advisors, Asia and Vixen, and they were nice enough girls but they were there to work too. So in lieu of anything interesting to do, Monet had had to invent her own fun.
Which consisted of annoying Monique.
It hadn’t started out like that, Monet always defended herself internally. She’d tried to make amends with her on the first day- stopped by her desk on the way out and asked her how her wrist was, but all she was met with was a wordless sneer. The next day, Monet had made a point of saying good morning to her, again met with no reply. She’d then complimented her hair when she came to Shea’s office to ask about a press release, but the only reply Monet got was a flip of it. So after that, the gloves were off. Monique had had three strikes, and now the bitch was out.
Monet could have just ignored Monique. That would have been the mature thing to do. But something about the girl had got under her skin and niggled away at her, like an annoying splinter. Plus Monet was competitive, and there was a need to get even.
On Tuesday, Monet got teas and coffees for the whole comms team apart from Monique. She didn’t miss the widening of Monique’s eyes then the disappointed pout that followed when she realised there was nothing for her. It made Monet’s skin prickle in satisfaction.
On Wednesday, Monet came into the department and walked up to Monique’s desk. She made sure Monique had locked eyes with her, made to smile at her, then fixed her eyes very pointedly on her cheek and frowned deeply, feigning concern as she walked away. She cast a glance at Monique over her shoulder as she walked away, who was furiously checking her reflection in her phone screen.
Yesterday, they had both been in the kitchen together. Monet had been grabbing a fork for her lunch when Monique had walked in, her eyes darkening upon seeing Monet. Monet felt a slight curl in her stomach when the other girl brushed past her and reached for a teabag, a rich, woody scent clinging to her like the black dress she was wearing.
“Morning, Monique,” Monet smiled, leaning against the countertop and smiling. “Hey, how are Cerberus and Hades this morning?”
Monique cast her a glare. She spoke after a beat of silence. “I don’t follow.”
“Guardians of the underworld?” Monet elaborated, receiving a tight smile in return.
“Oh, cute. Contemporary reference,” Monique bit back, reaching up to take a mug from a cupboard. “Should you not be, you know. Writing? Like an actual journalist? Are you an actual journalist or just a child pretending to be a journalist?”
“As opposed to you, who’s a child pretending to be…an adult?” Monet blinked, delighting in the way Monique visibly tensed up.
“Jesus, I can’t wait til you leave,” she muttered, Monet able to hear the eye roll in her voice. She gave a chuckle.
“Well get used to me, princess, because I’m here til next Friday,” Monet beamed at Monique as she turned around, her gaze frosty and making Monet shiver a little.
“I’m not your princess,” she said, her voice low and dark and giving Monet a small heart palpitation. With a sudden flashback to their Monday meeting, Monet remembered the nails on Monique’s right hand. A shiver ran down her spine.
“No, you’re right,” Monet said, dropping the pitch of her voice to match Monique’s. She took a step forward, closing the space between them. “You’re a little brat.”
Monique’s eyes bored into hers. There seemed to be something hanging in the air. After what could have been seconds or minutes, Monique scrunched up her face and spun around on her heel, leaving Monet on her own in the kitchen.
Monet had gone home and replayed their little confrontation in her head on repeat. It especially taunted her just before she was about to fall asleep, when she was lying in bed in the darkness with a dull throb between her legs that she tried her best to ignore. Monique was attractive, that was just a fact. She had a beautiful face and a little tiny waist and the most amazing legs, and when she wore short sleeved tops Monet could see the tattoos that went all the way up her arms, and she’d always been into tattoos. But Monique was also a total dick. So why was that so hot to her?
Monet found herself turning over in bed, switching the light on, grabbing her phone and typing xvideos into her search bar.
The next day everything seemed to be even more charged between the two girls, although that could have been Monet’s imagination. From the moment she walked into the department she had felt Monique’s eyes on her like a trained sniper, a blush hitting her cheeks that stayed there for most of the morning to the extent that Shea had asked her if she was feeling alright. Monet could hardly concentrate on the departmental she was sat in and was glad of the recorder she’d utilised to catch the meeting, because the only thought that seemed to run through her head was how do I get her alone again?
It turned out she didn’t have to wait very long. Monet was taking a phone call from Bob and she’d ducked into one of the small stationary cupboards to talk to her when Monique came in halfway through, her face curling up when she saw her. Monet’s heart gave a leap and, finding an excuse to finish the phone call earlier than needed, she pocketed her phone and turned to the other girl.
“Looking for some relevance?” Monet asked as she watched Monique bend down and open a cardboard box. The other girl narrowed her eyes at her as she stood up.
“Leave me alone, Monet. I’m serious,” she snapped, Monet crossing her legs together where she stood. Fuck, she could be bossed about like this all day.
“Oh, we on first name terms now? I’m a guest in your department, you should be addressing me properly,” Monet folded her arms and leaned back against the shelves behind her. Monique snorted and quirked a smile.
“Of course, Ma'am. I’m so sorry! Would you prefer Bitch, or Ms. Bitch?” she smiled sweetly. Monet couldn’t help but run her tongue over her bottom lip and then bite it softly, and she didn’t miss the way Monique’s eyes darted to it or the way her stare faltered.
“You know, you really shouldn’t be throwing around that word so casually, Monique, especially since I’m working with your boss.”
“Why are you doing this?!”
Monet exhaled. “Because I’m bored, it’s funny, and I hate you. There you go. The holy trinity of why.”
Then Monet got a shock as Monique suddenly took a step towards her, closing the gap between them in the already tiny cupboard, and if Monet leaned forward she would be able to feel Monique’s body against hers. Her eyes were dark as she scowled at her. “You think you can just walk into this department with your perfect hair and your perfect outfits and your perfect body and just talk shit to everyone after a week?”
Monet held back a gasp as Monique’s expression faltered, almost as if she’d given something away that she shouldn’t have. Her heart gave a jump. She’d really just said all that? Monet touched her caramel curls self-consciously. She looked at Monique from under her lashes. “I don’t talk shit to everyone, just you.”
Monique’s harsh stare was back. “Well you better stop.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll do something I regret,” Monique hissed. Monet blinked. It was so hard to read the situation. She couldn’t tell if Monique was genuinely threatening her, but she seemed to have got closer because Monet could feel the heat of her body just millimetres away from her own. She swallowed thickly. Just then she noticed Monique’s eyes dart quickly from her eyes to her lips and back up again. It made her decision for her.
“Dare you, princess.”
Quicker than Monet could blink, Monique had suddenly closed the minute gap between them, pressed her body up against Monet’s own, and was kissing her with more passion than she’d ever been kissed with before in her life. It was as if Monique’s lips were made of fire, and Monet moaned as she felt her hands tear roughly through her hair. Monet was so stunned that she was almost unable to kiss back, until she felt Monique suck gently on her tongue and lust flood through her whole body. Monet brought her hands, which had been resting on Monique’s waist, up to cup her jaw. Monique noticed the movement and Monet’s heart thudded quickly as she felt Monique take one of her hands in hers, lace their fingers together, and move it from her face down to-
“Monique! You still in there? I found a bunch of staples in the top drawer of- oh,” came a voice- one of the other comms girls, Monet recognised. With a speed that she didn’t think it was possible to move at, she leapt back from the other girl and thanked God that the comms girl on the other side of the door’s entry to the cupboard had been stopped by a huge box full of spiral-bound notebooks that Monique had moved to get better access to what she was looking for.
Monique ran her tongue over her lips and cast her eyes to the floor as she spoke. “Oh, thanks Vanessa! I’ll be out in two seconds, just need a couple more things.”
Monet hadn’t realised she was holding her breath until she released it when she heard the girl walking away down the corridor. Keeping her face neutral, she looked at Monique whose cheeks were dark pink and her eyes embarrassed.
“I should, uh,” Monet began, moving to the door in an effort to ease the awkward tension that had been created.
“Yeah, sure,” Monique nodded furiously, rubbing her forehead with one hand and averting her gaze. Without a second glance, Monet was out the cupboard and walking briskly up the corridor and back onto the meeting room she’d left when she originally took the phone call. Sitting back down in her seat, she was pleased that Shea was already talking so that nobody needed to acknowledge her arrival.
Just when she thought she was off the hook, Asia turned to her and murmured. “Girl, where the fuck did you take that phone call? A hedge?”
She declined to reply.
***
Monet walked into the department on Monday with a cocktail mixer of excitement, nerves, trepidation and readiness being shaken up in her stomach. Her mind had been a complete mess all throughout the rest of Friday, and Monique seemed to have been good at avoiding her because she hadn’t seen her at all for the rest of the day. So Monet had gone home at the end of the day with her head in a spin, her hair still a complete mess, and a burning need to be absolutely railed. She wasn’t able to stop herself from scrolling instagram when she was alone in her flat with a glass of wine, and her fingers were typing in Monique’s full name (which hung on the nametag around her neck each day) before she could stop herself. She found her instantly, and a guilty feeling built in Monet’s stomach as she found herself looking through the girl’s page, gorgeous selfie after gorgeous selfie making her stomach flip over and her palms grow hot. Suddenly, she saw the circle around Monique’s profile picture turn pink. Her thumb hovered over it, unsure if she wanted to graduate to full-blown instagram stalker creep status. Well, she’d come this far.
A mirror selfie of Monique filled the screen, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders and out of the ponytail it had been in earlier. She was smiling, and Monet found herself wishing she had that smile directed at her more often. With a pang she noticed that the wine in Monique’s glass was red, matching the crimson liquid in her own glass. As if she was afraid of being caught, Monet tapped off the story and buried her phone underneath one of her couch cushions.
On Saturday, Monet met with her friend Bri for coffee, which was probably a good thing as it would serve to distract Monet from the dream she’d had last night of Monique, perched up on her desk in a black lace bodysuit and high heels talking in extremely explicit detail about what she wanted Monet to do to her. Meeting with Bri would stop her from lying in bed in her own filth masturbating herself into oblivion and obsessively checking Monique’s instagram like a complete loser. On the other hand, all Bri seemed to want to talk about was some French politician she’d slept with whilst she was over there as a correspondent for the BBC during the European Parliamentary elections, and it wasn’t really helping.
“…and like, I’d never really been one for strapons before- because, hello, big dicks usually aren’t really the selling point of lesbianism- but Jesus Christ, Monet, I swear I saw God. In fact, I fucked God. God was her. Hey, panini head, are you even listening to me?”
Monet blinked twice as she tuned back into the conversation. Her friend was staring at her intently, her blonde hair slightly all over the place with how animatedly she’d been telling the story. Not too far away from their table a family of four looked on, horrified.
“Oh my God, Cracker, it’s ten in the morning,” Monet rolled her eyes, utilising the nickname she sometimes hit out with for her friend (“Because I’m thin, white and salty?” “No, because it doesn’t take much for you to snap.“).
“So?! You can’t put a time limit on fucking a hot girl.”
“No, but you can put a volume limit,” Monet raised her eyebrows, as a Dad with a pram walked into the cafe. Bri rolled her eyes.
“Jesus, would you stop being such a prude? You need to get laid,” she sighed, then narrowed her eyes as she saw Monet shift in her seat and cross her legs, the memory of her stationary cupboard encounter flooding back into her head like a tsunami. “Unless you already have…? Monet?”
Monet took a sip of her coffee. She put it back on the saucer and tried to ignore Bri’s piercing eyes. “What?”
Bri jumped back in her seat and almost knocked a tray of tea out of the hands of a woman passing behind her. “Oh my God. You’re not telling me something. Tell me. Tell me now, or I go into more detail about my night with Aquaria Palandrani at double the volume I was using before.”
“How can it get more detailed?!” Monet cried in dismay, then frowned. “Whatever, I don’t want to know. Ugh, there’s nothing to tell, honestly.”
Bri leaned forward in her seat expectantly. Monet rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Look, it’s honestly nothing! It’s just this girl-”
“A-HA! That’s not nothing! That’s a girl!” Bri gasped, excited. “More details, please.”
“You know I’m doing that piece on Shea Coulee for Bob? She works for her department, she’s a comms girl. We didn’t really see eye to eye at first…I mean, I guess we still don’t. But she’s fucking beautiful, and her attitude’s just really hot, you know? Even though it’s meant to make me not like her.”
“Ooh, hate fucking,” Bri gave her eyebrows a little wiggle, causing Monet to slap her on the arm.
“Shut up! I’m trying to get her to like me first.”
“Don’t. Hate fucking’s the best. Did I ever tell you about-”
Monet tuned out again, her mind now occupied by Monique now that she’d been talking about her. She wondered how she would play things on Monday, and how Monique would approach things with her. Even though she would be happy if Monique had had a personality transplant towards her, there was a small part of her that couldn’t help but long for one of her sarcastic clapbacks that drove her absolutely insane.
That night as she tried to write up things for her article, Monet couldn’t help but feel her phone in her jean pocket like an itch she had to scratch. Giving in, she opened up instagram and made her way to Monique’s page again, top in her search history. She saw a new post on her story and her heart gave a thud. Tapping, she was admittedly disappointed to see a song’s cover art pop up on the screen. She was about to tap off again when two emojis caught her eye, with a completely undeniable double entendre- tongue and squirt. The small clip of the song rang out in Monet’s living room before she could even adjust her volume.
“I put the na-na in naughty
Begging for it, got you on your knees
Didn’t make it to the bedroom, but we can do it there too
Whatever’s your fa-”
“Oh my God, fuck off,” Monet yelped involuntarily, throwing her phone out of her hands so that it landed on the sofa cushion beside her. She didn’t know how the hell to interpret that, or if it was even about her, but all she knew was that she was more confused than ever.
***
Monet took a deep breath before she stepped into the offices on Monday morning, straightening her spine and walking in confidently, despite the fact she felt as if her legs were made of jelly. On her way into Shea’s office she passed by the desk that hadn’t been far from her mind all weekend (footage from her dream flashing through her head as she walked past) and out came the simple phrase that she’d rehearsed saying for hours.
“Good morning, Monique,” she said quickly, catching the other girl’s surprised eyes before sweeping past her desk and going straight into the Minister’s room, not giving the other girl a single chance to respond. Her heart beat rapidly all morning as she sat through meeting after meeting, a small triumphant smile on her face.
At quarter past twelve, Monet made her way to the elevators, ready to head out to grab some lunch. She cast her glance to Monique’s desk hopefully, only to find it empty. Her disappointment was short-lived, however, when she walked into the lift and heard the click-clack of high heels running to catch the it before it left. Monet pressed the button to hold it and her stomach flipped over when Monique, wearing a black, calf-length bodycon dress, ran into the lift beside her. She shot Monet a quick glance, then looked up to the ceiling and avoided her gaze. The lift doors closed and it began its journey down the many, many floors towards the lobby.
“Thanks,” Monique said, after a few beats of silence. Monet cleared her throat.
“No worries.”
There was another pause. Monet couldn’t tell where it was going, if anywhere, and the awkward atmosphere built. She tossed some of her honey curls out of the collar of her shirt and rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed.
“So, uh,” Monique spoke up, inspecting her nails. “You have a nice weekend checking up on me?”
Monet felt as if someone had poured a freezing cold bucket of water over her head. She wished she could control the horror that was almost definitely slapped across her face. “What?!”
Monique gave a small smile. “It’s okay, Monet, I know I look good. The least you could’ve done is shoot me a follow, you know?”
Monet wanted the bottom of the elevator to drop off so she could fall directly down the lift shaft.
“I wasn’t…oh my God,” she trailed off, realising there was no way she could explain her way out of this one. She placed both her hands on her face, covering her eyes. “How did you-”
“You know it tells you who views your stories, right?” Monique’s voice came, a slight laugh to it that served to make Monet feel both more and less embarrassed. “Hey. Don’t worry about it. Happens to the best of us.”
Monet couldn’t muster a reply. She didn’t even think she could take her hands off her eyes.
“I mean, I gotta admit. I had a lil’ sneak on yours too,” the other girl said quietly, causing Monet to finally take her hands off her eyes and look at Monique who was leaning lazily against the bar on the lift. “You look like a snack when you’re not in those work clothes, girl.”
Ohhh, shit.
Monet tossed her hair over her shoulder and smirked at Monique. The conversation was finally going down the route she wanted, and she found herself squeezing her thighs together in anticipation. “I don’t know, baby, you seemed pretty keen on me when I was in them too.”
She watched as Monique laughed, looked up at the ceiling again, and shook her head. “That was a necessary step I had to take to stop you running your fuckin’ mouth, and it worked.”
Monet tilted her head as Monique finally made eye contact with her. She bit her lip and shrugged. “Can’t have worked that well, ‘cause I’m still talking.”
Monique smiled smugly, taking a single step towards her. “And what?”
Monet blinked, taken aback. “Well. Maybe you need to shut me up again.”
Monique twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. “Is this a big, powerful, high-up Guardian journalist begging a Band 1 Civil Servant to make out with her in an elevator?”
“Oh, Jesus,” Monet laughed, feeling the heat between her legs build up as Monique came to a stop beside her, deliberately standing a little too close. “You’re a bitch. Fuck, no, I’m not begging.”
“Mm, you wanna beg me so bad,” Monique smiled teasingly, and Monet had never wanted a lift to break down more in her life. Turning quickly so that she had one arm on either side of Monique and effectively trapping her, Monet saw a quick, wicked flash in the other girl’s eye as she leant in and dropped her voice.
“I bet I could make you beg me to do a lot of things.”
Monique flashed her a look from under her lashes. “Like what?”
The lift suddenly stopped and the doors slid open, making Monet flinch and Monique jump beside her. To her relief, nobody was waiting to walk in and she couldn’t help but laugh, the other girl rapidly joining in. After a few seconds, Monet realised they had to get out of the elevator and so she reluctantly walked out, Monique following behind her. Now that the moment had been shattered, it was back to being slightly awkward, but Monet really didn’t want to lose what they’d just created. She found herself stopping abruptly, turning around to face Monique who had stopped beside her and was gazing at her hopefully.
“Hey. Do you want to grab lunch just now?” she asked, her heart soaring as she saw Monique’s smile grow wider and more beautiful.
“Sure,” she beamed, Monet smiling back and feeling like a total lovesick idiot.
They started walking again. “Where do you wanna go?”
Monique ran her tongue over her teeth and shrugged. “Well…my flat’s five minutes away and my flatmate isn’t home.”
Without missing a beat, Monet took Monique’s hand and led her out of the building, part of her hoping she would be able to shut Monique up and part of her really not wanting to.
#rpdr fanfiction#monet x change#monique heart#monet x monique#lesbian au#oneshot#fic challenge#run my mouth#ortega#rare pair#s10
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𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚐
tagged by: @skzlove ILOVE U CJ
tagging: @jinnielovebot @himeaegyo @hyunjeno @hyyunjinn @bangchans @realstraykids @hyunnlix @bangchant @felixeslee @channie @luvknow @jeongingf @district9sgf @xiupch @vitaminhwang @1ovbot
who is my bias?
perhaps hyunjin
what’s your favorite thing about them?
HIS EYE SMILE, the way he gets all awkward like he wants to bury himself n never surface again whenever he has to be cute, HIS SELFIE UPDATES, eye mole, his dancing, that thing where he stares into the camera on stages n kills me, HIS VOICE, HIS TEETH, HIS GIGGLE, UGH his DUALITY, when he eats,,,,hhhh,,,,,is this a k*nk i jsut , when he stares at his fansites for a LONG second before doing a heart or something, when he hugs jeongin ;_____;, I COULD GO ON 4 TWELVE MORE YEARS but yeehERRRKRR
who would initiate skinship more?
i think i would even tho i dont wanna admit the actual SOFT I AM UGH like i dont like hugs but if i am Not Hugged Ima Needa GotDamn SNIKCERS
BUT AT THE SAME TIME hYUNJIN IS SO NATURAL W SKINSHIP ITs UGH
who would hog the blankets more?
UGH ME even in the most humid, hottest, scorching days that are basically feeling like satans actual aSS ,,,,, i need to WRAP.ME.UP, in ALL THE BLANKETs ;;;;
who would be more clingy?
hopefully neither like i like attention occasionally but i also need some of that SPACE n i feel like my mans jinsus would understand n would appreci8 the same
who would say ‘i love you’ first?
o me man i lov tellin ppl i lov them ALL THE TIME LIKE its some sort of dISEASE i feel like
what cuddling position would you two have?
o this is like such an awkward question honestly omfg but ig like my fav is when i can put my head on ppls shoulder or chest or smth n their arm is around me so i can still use my phone n they can too n yeah it’s a win win situation in our generation 4 sho 4 sho LMFAOOFOA
which colors remind you of them and why?
peachy orange ! it’s a very bright / light kinda color i suppose n who doesnt just think of ALL TIHGNS PRETTY N GOOD when u think of hyunjin n peaches / oranges :(
which season would you like to spend with them?
fall / winter? i hate snow like SO MUCH HONESTLY but i hate unbearable heat / rain even more n i have minimal allergies in the winter so im not wheezing and crying 50 hours a day during those seasons
who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?
we would bake cookies tgt n eat the batter TGT
which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?
i liv for making bad jokes :( hyunjin would probably call me a headass, catapult me out the window, change the locks on the doors, change his name, change his hair, get a new id, and pretend he doesnt kno me when i crawl my way back
who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?
TEAM EFFORT.
which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?
WHO MICROWAVES A POPTART??? we eat that shit Raw IN OUR HOUSE >:[
who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?
hyunjin would b leaning but im not pullin him bacc yall im so scared of like SKDJFLSJ DYING LIKE THIS ugh if any1s ever been to chicago n like yall kno the bridge over the grandriver on michigan ave???? THE SIDEWALK HAS AL THESE LINES IN IT SO U CAN SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE WATER AND ITS SO SCARY i practically crawl going across i cannot HANDLE THAT SHIT IM i omg i just its so ;(
what would watching a horror film with them be like?
i LOVE SCARY MOVIES SO MUCH like im still scared but ye itd b lit bc ik he doesnt like them so like ima HECKA PROTECC JINSUS
who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?
LMFAOO actually ive been told im a smooth flirt (even tho i never mean what i say ;_____; oop) BUT OMG i feel like jinsus would b smooth too tho ngl LFMOAFAOOF BUT OUR INTERACTION WOULD SOMEHOW NOT COME OUT SMOOTH-
who is more competitive?
hyunjin. i cannot compete in anything it givs sm STRESST TBH LIKE I SLKDJFLKJ GUHGHkflJ
who would be given constant reminders? (don’t forget your keys, remember to eat, etc.)
BOTH? IM FORGETFUL?? BUT I DONT FORGET WHAT OTHER PPL GOTTA DO fFFLFKFJLFKJFJ we lov priorities in this house ?___?
who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at three am?
I THINK WED BOTH BE BOTH i get so emo sometimes n also i combat emoness w memes n i think hyunjin would b like ugh BITCH mood
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Chapter 14: Review
I’m taking another break from my study session to write you a review since I haven’t for a while and this chapter is so great, I want to cry. Here we go!
A/N: Ahhhh, gah, thanks so much for writing this all up, love! So detailed and thoughtful and just aaskfan;olgv. So glad you liked it! Hope your test went well!
1) First part
This Caroline’s contract is so her and Stefan making edits is so him, I loved that you opened the chapter with that hah! Also it’s hilarious how he also makes those edits to annoy Caroline, I love how he teases her sometimes.
The only thing I’m addicted to is you, Steffy bear: I’m so tired of Defan in the show. Bless you for making their bromance so likeable in this fanfic :)
So when you said Stefan was going to be jealous I instantly thought about him getting jealous of Damon with the contract thing being involved. AND I LOVE IT. I mean, I totally love how you write Stefan’s personal thoughts and mind battle between his jealousy emerging and at the same time him trying to repress those emotions because they’re just casual and he doesn’t have the right to. Yet, it shows that Stefan feels something more deeply for her and that the thing of “I just want casual sex” is going to bite him in the ass and I’m so here for it. It’s so funny though, because he thinks Caroline has this contract for him because he thinks she isn’t into him in the same way that “she was into Damon”, when she actually writes this contract as a way to put a wall between them so she doesn’t fall for him. How can he be so oblivious lolol
And I could see what you meant with “judgmental”, “critical” Stefan. The way he went at Damon just because he was feeling jealous. You know, even if it was super wrong, I guess it’s a very human thing to do, especially from Stefan. I get that it brings memories of cheater Elena back and he gets defensive straightforward. Having said so, though, I’d love to see a honest talk between Damon and Stefan, with him explaining to Damon why he behaved so irrationally and immature. I love their brotp moments. So, I was wondering, will Stefan tell him what was going in his mind?
A/N: WHEW, so much good stuff here - first of all, loooove all your notes and thoughts. All super, super spot-on. Defan is definitely a funny, drama-free bromance in this fic, so naturally I was like ‘DRAMA TIIIIMEEE’. No dynamic can go unscathed, muahahaha. No, but in all seriousness, I’m thrilled with your interpretation of how their tiff went down - I was absolutely going for a very human but still very flawed moment from Stefan because I felt like he was overdue for it, and Damon felt like the unexpectedly right target. There will definitely be a talk between them in the future about it - Damon might be used to letting things slide off him like butter, but Stefan’s not okay with what he did, so he’ll seek him out. Defan bonding ahead! Likely not in 15, though - already a lot going on there, lmao.
Re: the contract, aren’t they both being such idiots? Caroline pretends she’s writing it for Stefan when she’s absolutely writing it for herself, and Stefan’s convinced that her giving free reign to Damon meant she was more into it than her thing with him when it’s the exact opposite. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Luckily, no matter how many stubborn conclusions they come to about each other, their natural magnetism keeps winning out and giving them moments like the one in her room, so. Safe to say we’ll have more of those :)
2) Second part
1. Honestly, this whole moment has made me feel as through I was reading a suspense/mystery/detective story for a moment hsdbaysugd. I’m writing this review as I’m reading so I don’t know if this whole thing about the different IDs will be explained later but I’m so intrigued about these 2 identities and what’s going on!
2. I’M DEAD ABOUT KAI SENDING BIRDS LIKE WTF. I’m crying, like, what is even this guy?! When I watched the video you made and I saw the birds, I thought it’d be just like a crazy thing caused by the wind or something, but the fact that Kai has all these birds, and sends them to deliver notes? THIS IS TOO MUCH I’M ON THE FLOOR.
3. Isn’t it hilarious how Damon has gotten under Bonnie’s skin and she can’t shake him off? The sexual tension is too much hehehe. When I read first Kai’s appearance, I got a vibe that he had a thing for Bonnie. Maybe I’m wrong, though. But it’d be great to see Damon driving Kai crazy during the dinner while flirting with Bonnie in front of him and Kai suddenly releases a lion or tigger or something as his revenge.
4. Did Damon seriously use Caroline’s shampoo for the wounds? I can’t.
A/N: Woooo, mystery fic feels! That plot’ll come around again during the dinner date, but as you probably know by now, Bonnie does bring it up, lololol. Maybe not in the most productive way but it’s out there.
Kai’s a delightful lunatic and I can’t wait to write him in an extended role in 15. So glad you’re enjoying him and his bird zoo! Much more madness to come - as fun as the Bonnie x Kai will be, I really think the Damon and Kai dynamic is going to push it over the edge. Speaking of, LOOOOOL at releasing a tiger on Damon. He’s definitely going to be a pretty shameless fake boyfriend and we’ll have to see how Kai takes it all. TBH, I’m pretty sure he finds Damon just as hot as Bonnie so it’ll be an interesting interaction for sure.
And yes, he washed out cuts with fancy French lavender and there’s a 1000% chance Caroline’s going to kill him if she finds out he wasted her expensive ass shampoo for that.
3) Third part
OH MY GOOOOOOD
1. I love Caroline/Liz’s relationship SO MUCH. You have a gift when it comes to writing family dynamics, just saying. I love the friends vibe I got from them even if they’re mother and daughter. (I can totally imagine Liz meeting Stefan and playing Cupid between the two of them asdbayusdgf). Jump Mr. Brenner’s bones: jnfydsuhf Caroline. Can we expect to see Liz again?
A/N: Will definitely see Liz again! Either in another phone call or during the Christmas chapter(s). So glad you liked their relationship!
2. Caroline trying to control herself and not snap at Stefan after seeing all the edits was hilarious.
A/N: LMAO the perfectionism is strong in that one.
3. Plus, she couldn’t help but feel like there was a general… off-ness about him right now that she couldn’t put her finger on. A brusqueness, almost, or a sense of calculated distance that reminded her of how they used to be: so, when I read this, I got a little confused as to what could be causing this behavior from Stefan. Was he acting a little distant because of a) his previous jealous-situation earlier? I mean, was it because he was still feeling a little off because Caroline let Damon do more stuff when they were having sex?; b) he thinks Caroline and Damon might be still hooking up?; c) he’s determined to keep it as a casual thing so he’s trying to put some distance between them in that sense or between his own feelings?; d) all of the above? (This sounds like an exam, I’m sorry).
A/N: I think c is probably you best bet. He went into that room business-like, focused, like it was a case he was working on, you know? He’d just finished reading through the entire contract so he had a very clear sense of what she wanted out of him (physical), and on top of that, he’d read it with a determination to prove to himself that he could totally do no-strings-attached. I think the jealousy situation played a role in that, too, but maybe less because of him being upset about Damon and Caroline and more because he was upset at himself and his own inability to handle that well. Basically, he was pulling a Caroline and putting up a front that cracked pretty quickly.
4. Can I just say how great the positions of Stefan and Caroline felt in this moment? Like, them being sitting in front of each other, around clothes, and in her room, gave a sense of intimacy to everything and I think it was a great scenery.
A/N: Awww, gah, thanks so much, love! This is like such phenomenal feedback to hear as a writer - I tend to try to write things in a way that feels like a movie playing out in your head, or like you’re there in the room with the characters watching it all happen, so the fact that you could feel the intimacy of that scene makes me really happy.
5. I know Caroline doesn’t like hair pulling, and I don’t expect her to like it even if it was coming from Stefan lmao. But, I don’t know why, I feel like once Stefan “runs” his hand through Caroline’s hair, she’ll like it, at least this way of hair playing? A girl can dream, right? I totally see Stefan doing it even if he tried not to. Maybe it’s because I have this headcanon that Stefan is obsessed with Caroline’s hair in the show, so I’d really love to see that in the fic since we’ve seen Stefan touching her hair while making out with her in the fic sometimes.
A/N: I feel fairly confident saying that the biggest problem she’ll have with Stefan running his hands through her hair in the future will be liking it too much. I also feel fairly confident saying it’ll happen often.
6. Okay, writer: I love this uadasdygf.
A/N: :)
7. YOU GAVE US THE FIRST HAND-HOLDING, I FEEL BLESSED.
A/N: All the tactility!
8. I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU GAVE US THIS MOMENT OF CAROLINE IMAGINING A MARRIED LIFE WITH HIM. I’m hyperventilating. I know it’s too soon but you’ve hit me right in my feelings. I get the “Caroline being romantic af” vibe from it and I’m in love gurl. Like, I know it’s over the top, but Caroline starting to believe in love again, the love that she loves so much, is such a cute thing to see? P.S. I really hope they have a mini Caroline one day, because I can totally see a little girl wrapped around his shoulders like a monkey as you said. And I can see her being very Caroline-like with her sassy comments and rolling her eyes every time Stefan starts rambling about nerdy things and she and Caroline exchanging exhausting looks. You’ve ended me, thanks :)
A/N: Looooove that you got the Caroline-the-Suppressed-Romantic vibe from that because it was absolutely what I was going for - she’s super vulnerable to love. She’s hard-wired for it. She grew up with sweeping books and romantic movies and grand gestures and her and Matt started out like a fairytale, you know? So I wanted to sneak in a moment where you start to see that repressed side of her that she denies so hard, and figured daydreams about Stefan the Hot Dad was as good a way to do it as any ;) So, so happy it killed you! LMAO, and aw, a flashforward of that would be tooooo cute.
4) Fourth part
1. I can’t believe Bonnie confessed she’s having sex fantasies about Damon. I was reading the whole dialogue and conversation and thinking she’s not going to, right? She’s not going to. And once she did I laughed so hard.
A/N: lololol Bonnie’s the biggest wreck she’s been in ages and she is so done with life.
2. I love how Bonnie and Damon can be so direct to each other sometimes. Like I love how Bonnie just said everything that was going on in her mind without biting her tongue, and it makes such a good parallel with Stefan and Caroline because they’re always so scared of just following what they’re truly feeling? I mean, I enjoyed Bonnie’s moments of craziness and running away from Damon all the morning, but reading her exploding was like yay girl, go for it. Also, I’m wondering if Fell is your violent criminal record name and thinking about googling it, but I’m also hoping your towel falls off. It’s all really healthy: I’m dying, poor Bonnie.
A/N: Love this parallel! So accurate - Stefan and Caroline are sort of tentatively navigating around each other and their unacknowledged feelings for each other, and they’ve been doing it in a kind of slow, steadily building way for chapters on end. It’s more controlled, more lingering. Meanwhile, Bonnie just kind of woke up in 13, was like WHOA BOY what is this feeling, did like acrobatics to try and get around it, and didn’t even last a day before cracking. I think there’s a sort of combative volatility to Bamon that lends itself to that, to those big, rip the lid off scenes and poke-the-other-till-they-snap beats, and even though it took longer to get them where they are than it took Stefan and Caroline, they’re almost moving more quickly now because the defenses are down. The pretenses are melting. At least on Bonnie’s end. Damon, there’s still a lot to dive into, but now that Bonnie’s not as focused on being a tight-lipped human stress ball, she’ll get back on the offensive with him and girl can fish. Damon’s up against a lot.
3. Okay, that was hot. Damon’s all in, and he’s being so happy and such a tease about it lol. I’m here for this “you’re not going to be able to resist me” while pretending to a couple. I don’t care if it’s cliché or shown in a lot of fics and shows, I’M SO HERE FOR IT because it’s going to be so fun to read.
A/N: LMAO it’s the biggest cliche to ever cliche so OFC it’s in this fic! So happy you’re looking forward to it! I think it’s going to be a lot of fun. Sexy, surprising, and fun.
5) Fifth part
1. How cute that Stefan and Caroline were just watching videos like 2 normal people. A cute, normal moment (let’s forget they were watching videos of people kissing/having sex/basically porn sfsydgfdf I’m dead).
A/N: LMAO right? Casually watchin’ makeout scenes with your pending booty call, nbd. It’s always fun to write them slipping into comfortable moments without really realizing it, since their origins were so tense.
2. The thing of the scarf kind of reminded me of the Harry Potter drabble with nerdy Stefan lol. Also, thank you for this kind of moment because seeing them just bonding is always nice to see. Especially because you can see they’re totally different but they get so comfortable with each other and they work together so well.
A/N: So true! Totally nerdy Stefan! And yeah, absolutely, I think the sexual attraction has been more than established for them at this point, so now’s when the bondy moments start picking up steam, you know? Like the unexpected ease with each other/shared senses of humor/things that imply something deeper than just sexual chemistry. Not in full-force, obviously, since Caroline would probably bolt, but in worrisome flares that get longer and longer every time.
3. You know, earlier today, I…: I NEED to know what Stefan was going to say! I mean, my first thought was the he was going to tell Caroline about his jealousy earlier, with Damon, but I’m not sure. Well, whether it was or wasn’t that, I was wondering if we’ll see Stefan telling Caroline about that, by the way. I picture Stefan telling Caroline he felt jealous because he has this kind of thought that she sees him as boring or not fun enough, and she reassures him and confesses that he actually makes her laugh sometimes, BUT ONLY SOMETIMES hahaha.
A/N: In my head, I saw it as he was going to say something along the lines of like, ‘earlier today, I thought that maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.’ Sort of lowkey admit that he was considering not signing the contract, that maybe he wasn’t right for this, and that he had this idea that the only way it could work is if he was super detached or distant, but that actually, the past hour had just been genuinely fun and he was glad he hadn’t decided that. That’s what I was thinking. Not sure he’s at the point with her where he’d open up about any kind of insecurities re: her and Damon, because so much of that is tied so heavily to the blow his self-esteem took with Elena and it’s just a loaded conversation. But maybe a little further down the line, I could see something like that happening!
4. Stefan checking Caroline out and devouring her with his eyes while she was stretching was not subtle at all and I’m happy. He’s so attracted to her, it’s crazy. Honestly, both of them are going to feel so relieved once they finally have sex after so many days of increasing sexual tension lmao.
A/N: I’ve sketched out a few potential first time scenarios for them in my head and I think the one I’ve settled one is very much in line with this, hahaha.
5. I’M HYPERVENTILATING WITH THIS STEROLINE KISS OMG. I swear I felt butterflies, you wrote it so well :’) And YAS, because of course this would happen. Caroline trying to teach him what intimate is so that he doesn’t do it, and yet here he goes, his hand sliding up her spine, his fingers in her hair, his other hand around her waist to pull her to him, and then on her face. He couldn’t resist lol, he’s so whipped already.
6. Sliding the pad of his thumb over the arc of flecks on her left cheek and causing a wash of butterflies to flutter through her/ His thumb swiped down to the mark just above the left corner of her mouth. The feather-light friction left a flare of warmth across her cheek, and her pulse skittered at his proximity to her lips, at how easily he could brush a fingertip over them: GIRL WTF, LIKE WTF. Stefan can try all he wants, honestly, everyone knows he’s not going to be able to be “non-intimate” with her. Like, LOOK AT THEM.
Her index finger traced a line from his right eyebrow to the jut of his cheekbone: GIRL WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING. Can I just say how beautiful this moment of exploration and knowing each other was? And I love how flirty and idiotic and playful they were afterwards, like Stefan pretending to be offended and to want to pull away but not in the slightest. MOOD:
LIKE DO THEY REALIZE HOW HARD THEY’RE FALLING FOR EACH OTHER BECAUSE, MAN.
Also, I wanted to thank you because it’s been cute to see Caroline being nice to Stefan and not putting walls between them as she usually does. I’m proud of my baby.
A/N: LMAO just responding with a <3 to all of this. So, so happy you liked it. I knew some people were worried about how purely physical they were in 13 so I was like ‘how can I fast-track a little intimacy without going OOC’ and this was what I came up with, lololol. Just a sort of forbidden moment where all things go and intimacy is the whole point but it’s also a slippery slope because it’s messing so much with both of their heads, you know? So needless to say, I’m really glad it landed! They’re dumb, I don’t know why either of them ever thought that would help rather than hurt they’re ‘casual sex’ crusade buuuuut this is what comes out of my head.
I’m really curious as to who is going to realize it first, like, you know, have this moment of realization, and if they’ll just follow what they feel or want to stop so it doesn’t continue. I’m fragile, I don’t want to suffer.
Oh, and the fact that they have this constant need to mark what is intimate and non-intimate, and the whole contract thing, doesn’t that make them think that if they need all of that is maybe because they know they feel something deeper for each other even if they don’t want to say it aloud? I DON’T KNOW BUT I’M READY FOR ANYTHING THAT IS COMING FOR THESE TWO.
A/N: I think Christmas is going to be a key time for them in terms of coming to those realizations. Just like that first stretch of time apart, where the extenuating circumstances that brought them together are over and there’s no convenient excuse to see each other as much anymore, you know? That’s my predication. LMAO I honestly don’t know ‘cause chapters morph on me like crazy.
And re: the recognizing needing rules = feelings, YOU’D THINK. Denial’s a hell of a drug, man.
7. Does Bonnie really not notice anything or at this point she’s just pretending she doesn’t because I can’t believe it lol. By the way, I really loved this moment with the 3 of them.
A/N: I think after three years of seeing Caroline and Stefan avoid each other and get super stilted anytime the other was around and just in general be entirely uninterested in the other’s existence, it’s going to take a lot for Bonnie to leap into ‘they’re hooking up’. Like as readers, we’re diving into the fic right when they’re starting something so we’re like Damon, we see it as super obvious. Bonnie has a whole three year history of them being allergic to each other that is kind of putting up a mental block, and on top of that, she’s sort of the main character of her own romantic debacle right now and that’s compromising a lot of her observational skills. I do think, though, that once it clicks in her head forreal, she’s going to immediately identify all the obvious af signs she missed and be outraged at herself.
8. Okay, first Stefan, now Bonnie. Like no wonder these two are besties. They even get jealous at the same time and over the same people, it’s hilarious. Damn crow, by the way -though I find the crows thing so hilarious, can they adopt one or something?-, but will the girls talk about Bonnie’s feelings for Damon?
A/N: Eventually, for sure. They’ve both got other things they’re dealing with in 15, though. And LMAO they should, though for some reason I see those crows as like unfailingly loyal to Kai.
6) Sixth part
Love of my liiiiife: I can’t with this guy. All of this comical moment was too much. Like, throwing her over his shoulder and just leaving the apartment; Bonnie with no shoes and calling him out; and they’re about to have dinner with Kai -and the fact that Damon uses like 100 nicknames for him lmfao-. This is going to be fun.
A/N: I think that’s a pretty good indication of the kind of energy the opening of that date’s going to have, so I’m super glad you’re looking forward to it!
7) Seventh part
For the sake of Stefan and Caroline, they really just need to have sex once and for all or they will die -and me too-.
PLEASE TELL ME IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING IN CHAPTER 15 SO I CAN GET READY FOR MY DEATH. Also, any idea of when you will post it? Just a tentative idea?
A/N: Would not be unwise to start making funeral arrangements. And lmao, unfortunately I have kind of a crazy few weeks coming up, so probably in like three weeks at the earliest? I’ll try to make that, I know I left some pretty nasty cliffhangers in this chapter.
And lastly, I saw someone is making an appearance, an “unexpected new guest”. Is he/she someone we know? A neighbor? Someone we don’t but that either Stefan or Caroline do?
Yessss, the new guest mystery! You know them. They’ve been mentioned. Muahaha.
I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. Let me tell you this one was one of my favorites and that I feel blessed and I’m gonna reread it like 100 times. Sorry for the super long review!
A/N: GIRL, never, I loved the super long review. Made my day! <3 I know this fic is largely fluff, but let me tell ya, fun as they are, these chapters end up being like 50-60+ pages on Word, so they definitely take quite a bit out of me and quite a bit of time for me to crank out. When I first post them, I never really have any idea what to think and just sort of wait to hear back on if this thing I just spent way too much time on (time that I do NOT have lololol) is any good, and you’d be surprised how long it usually takes to get any kind of feedback (I really think people think this fic is more popular than it is?), so neeeeeever apologize for leaving a long review. It’s like the best possible thing to get. Thanks so, so much for writing it, and I’ll make sure to start posting teasers for 15 soon!
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HEY IT ME AGAIN-- LITERALLY SAME I GOT SICK AND LIKE IM STILL COUGHING AND I WANT IT TO STOP. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW. I hope you feel better soon! I can only imagine how bad you're suffering! Make sure to get lots of rest and binge watch Naruto hehehehe// I got sick around Christmas so it's kinda just here// But yeah lol just excuse me late responses (; 7 ; ) and yas girl just embrace you're inner otaku its okay xD (i wanna re-read Naruto actually//) OMG YES PLZ I LOVE YOUR FICS AND-
{CONT} YO HOW DARE YOU WRITE THAT JUNGKOOK FIC IM SHOOKED JKSDFNKJD// LMAO IF THAT AINT ME IN ANY MATH CLASS FUKFFKFKKFKF BUT ITS OKAY YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU! There was freezing rain here a day or so ago. That was fun . u . (sobs) IF YOU COULD TWEEK MY BLOG OMG ID LOVE THAT. But the theme isn’t originally mine and I’d assume the original owner wouldn’t want the original code changed?
{CONT} IDK I wanted to change my theme for a while now // Something not endless scroll but just boxes for previews? Also I wanted a minimalistic theme based with pastel colours and black and white hehe/ ANYWAY NO NO WORRIES SOMETIMES IM JUST HERE WONDERING IF YOONGI SUED BIGHIT FOR DYING HIS HAIR TOO FREQUENTLY AND NOW HE BALD (LOL) BUT YEAH APPARENTLY THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A COMEBACK IN FEBRUARY AND MY WALLET IS UPSET. I ALSO WANT THE NEW ARMY STICK FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL LOL
{CONT 3 xD} I’ve only read Naruto Manga so if you wanna screech with me about that lets do it ahaha/ HECK YES I WILL READ THEIR FIC- I WILL NOT STUDY JAHAJSDSDKJF Shout out to Cat and Fae too like i seriously love their fics- your Christmas series had me shooked!! Anyways I have so much work to do and so i will bother you later :) - Sakura !
IM HEALED AND BETTER NOW THANK YOU I HOPE YOU’RE FINE NOW TOO??!?! but i remember my doctor telling me once that if you’re still coughing like a month later you should get it checked out or something D:
and oh. my. god.
naruto.
LISTEN I LITERALLY CRY EVERYTIME IT MAKES ME SO EMO. I WATCHED NARUTO THE ROAD TO NINJA MOVIE LIKE TWO NIGHTS AGO AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY WATCHING HIM INTERACT WITH HIS PARENTS AND ALL LIKE D’:: highkey still hated on sasuke though
but yeah no it’s okay! i have super late responses as of late…. and it’s really only because i’ve been too emotionally spent by the end of the day or tired or busy or just “not feeling it”
idk, but i hope to get back into being more active. i miss this place. i miss interacting with others, as little of it i seem to be doing right now (guh _ _)
LOL I HAVE SO MANY SEX SCENES ALREADY PREWRITTEN OUT FOR HTE JUNGKOOK FIC AND SO NOW THAT I’VE GOT THE HARDEST PARTS DONE, IT’S JUST DOWN TO FILLING IN THE PLOT AND SUCH. aaaand that’s kinda hard too, but i think i’ll manage. hopefully.
(help)
dude it was rainy and windy and cold today and i had to go outside and the entire time i was walking/running/dying to class i was thinking a) why b) this was a Mistake
ah well in regards to your theme, usually the theme makers are okay with minor changes (sometimes major ones too) as long as you keep the credit and the changes are for personal use (as opposed to commercial use/redistribution, etc). just to be sure, you can just check their rules. they usually have that whole page/pop up or will simply include it in their theme code.
hmm what do you mean by boxes for previews? i don’t think i’ve ever seen such as thing. it sounds interesting, though. are they previews for like posts or…?
YEAH OMG I’M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE FEBRUARY IS BOTH MINE AND ALSO @taesthetes‘ BIRTHDAY MONTH SO ITS LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WOOHOO
thank you for loving our collaboration! i’m still amazed on how quickly we got things put together and everything… honestly… cat and @zephyoongist are so talented i don’t know what i’m doing here :’) (or where i would be without them)
and now finally…
(for the maaaain event)…
okaY OKAY I WILL SCREECH WITH YOU ABOUT NARUTO. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. just under the cut because spoilers:
I’M SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK OVER NARUTO THE ONLY BEST WAY I CAN TRULY EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AT THE MOMENT IS JUST THROUGH BULLET POINTS SO:
i love kakashi
i also love gaara. i can’t choose between the two, but lately i’ve been more biased towards kakashi. i blame it on my sister because she’s always had a thing for him
(i still love you gaara its okay my sand child)
kakashi’s backstory had me in tears… like… with obito died and he’s telling kakashi he’ll give him his sharingan (the sharingan that he’d always been talking about that would get him to hokage) to be his eye to see the future…
i just..
fucking broke down man like dude… stop… you’re killing me here… and then how kakashi really changes afterwards
(okay but listen child kakashi was savage as fuck though and it was hilarious)
(also i know it’s a filler but that one episode in which it showed guy and kakashi comparing dick sizes as kids….,,..,.
….,,..i wasn’t expecting that at all but i don’t mind the info heheheheh heh /dies)
OKAY BUT THEN RIN DIES WHY
literally if she hadn’t died a lot of the issues in naruto wouldn’t have occurred but they fucking did
no i’m not blaming her she died for a noble reason okay it just makes me really sad i’m sorry
AND FINALLY MINATO DIES TOO AND KAKASHI IS THE LAST OF HIS TEAM IM EMO
on a side note minato and kushina were cute as fuck
ANYWAYS GAARA OH MY OH MY GOD MY POOR BABY as a kid he was so cute and just wanted some friends and was out helping all those villagers and such but then his damned dad just had to go and screw those things up like STOP IT HE;S MY CHILD
even though i love those two, my favorites are actually the akatsuki
like. they hate each other but istg they secretly love each other like have you seen kakuzu and hidan’s interactions??? they tease and insult and threaten (and have killed) each other but kakuzu is actually patient with hidan’s rituals and such, and hidan will still accompany kakuzu to the collection centers
also, when he sees asuma’s guardian shinobi thing the first thing that comes to mind is kakuzu and how he’d want him for the money and he’s like u gh but like !!!
and AND when hidan at first thinks he’s accidentally killed kakuzu in his fight with shikamaru & co., he has that look of panic ooooh my god I JUST GASHUDFJSDIJASD
also hidan is just hilarious. like when they go to recruit him he’s like “who are you guys, all wearing the same clothes?? are you guys an orchestra or band or something?”
/points at kakuzu/ bet you play the bass
/points at konan/ bet the girl does vocals and keyboards
/points at itachi/ …or do you do vocals…?
and then the first thing hidan and kakuzu do to each other is kill each other
the look of utter disbelief on both of their faces
“what the–why aren’t you dead?”
“bitch that hurt–wait. why aren’t you dead?”
but anyways we can’t forget about itachi and kisame either, now can we?? like. they are actually like the only partner group that openly got along with each other, and they were sad oh my god they were sad upon realizing each other’s death’s
and idk just the way kisame says “itachi-san” does something to me
i t a c h i
oh boy i have so much to say about this kid
but before i move on i must! address! the others!!
okay so like deidara is actually op as fuck and sometimes idk i feel like he doesnt get enough credit?? idk.
BUT LIKE LISTEN OKAY HE GOES THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS TO SEAL THE ICHIBI AKA SHUKAKU AKA GAARA’S TAILED BEAST and then immediately after decides to take on naruto (and kakashi)
AND HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM AT THE TIME HAVING JUST LOST ONE IN HIS FIGHT WITH GAARA LIKE WHAT IS THIS STAMINA AND HOW DOES HE NOT BLEED OUT THIS KID IS FUCKING AMAZING WHAT THE HELL
and he’s 19 like lol what bye
but anyways, after his “fight” he loses his other arm because kakashi and now he’s armless BUT THIS KID STILL HOLDS HIS OWN though completely on the defense AGAINST TEAM GAI LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S AMAZING and then he manages to create a bomb without using any sort of handseals and fools them all into thinking he’s dead
like
i love this boy give him a metal why did he have to die so early why (yet another reason why i dislike sasuke lmfao)
black zetsu scares the fuck out of me (esp when i learned of his true past and intentions) but white zetsu!! he’s such a sweetie holy shit
I JUST REALLY LIKED THAT TIME WHEN HE BURSTS INTO THE 5 KAGE SUMMIT AND HE’S LIKE “HALLLLOOO!!!!!!” WITH THE ARMS AND EVERYTHING DAW OMG
and also unlike so many others he actually likes everyone and when he saves deidara he’s like “you’re a fun guy to be around” and then and then later when he’s talking to tobi he reveals that he’s sad that so many of the akatsuki members died like D::
let’s not forget when black zetsu called him weak (they had split in two at the time) and white zetsu just kind of D: and wilts a little like ooHH NO oo baby it’s okay it’s okay
ahem
konan is so strong… holy crap… like… her ultimate attack? with the bajillion paper explosive tags disguised as a lake?? that go off for 10 minutes? holy fuck.
yahiko’s pretty damn hot if you ask me (yes i know he’s a cadaver in the main time period but listen)
idk my favorite arc of the entire thing was pain’s invasion of konoha… like from the moment jiraiya’s message arrived to when everyone got revived…. and then kakashi almost became hokage…
it was fantastic
i think it’s mainly because it was a mystery, race against time, battle thing all in one and it was so neat i guess
also you could see everyone in the village working together, fighting their hardest, showing their potentials for like, the first time ever
um um um okay sasori mentally scarred me as a child, and now whenever i hear the rattling puppet noises i immediately think of these scary nightmares i had after watching his fight with sakura… yeah, puppets scare me a lot now
orochimaru is a creep ‘nuff said moving on
tobi! i love this alternate ego of obito/”madara” like idk he’s so jumpy and honestly it’s fucking hilarious watching him because he’s so secretly op certain people underestimate him at first (and then others overestimate him because of his association with akatsuki)
like. when he was warding off konoha from itachi vs sasuke’s fight (which i am still emo about) he was just like playing whack-a-mole with them and then he’s like lemme use this ability! frill-necked lizard!
and they all kinda stand and stare at him intensely execting something legit
but in reality that’s it. the extent of htat ability is just him hanging upside down with the cloack falling behind him to look like a frill-necked lizard
and it’s fucking hilarious
i also thought it was fucking adorable when he and deidara first confront sasuke
and the little bitch goes ahead and slices through him
literally through him
and HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE NOISE BEFORE FALLING FLAT ON HIS FACE GAH
but sasuke thinks that he actually killed him and sasuke’s all like “one down”
and deidara just kinda
ugh this kid
and tobi gets up and brushes himself off like wow that was rly fast!!! and sasuke just >:/
URM OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE AKATSUKI MEMBERS
sorry i thought i should make this clear but i lowkey highkey have this vendetta thing against sasuke like this little shit
i mean ofc i know the reason for his disillusionment really isn’t all his fault like @ itachi really?
like really when he goes back to konoha and sasuke tries to kill him… he goes and easily breaks his wrist
and he kinda just considers him for a moment like
…hm
how about i….. make his situation even worse…?
and then traps him in a genjutsu that forces him to relive their parents death for 24 hours like why the fuck this is literally all your fault
and also on a side note, fuck danzo. why the fuck did the 3rd not kill him when he was supposed to. why. all the wrong people lived for far too long.
anyways
but yeah no idk i just really don’t like sasuke after he defected and became a Vengeful Teen
AND ITACHI’S STORY MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME HOLY SHIT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHY DID THIS BOY HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH and then mess up his little brother’s psyche to the point in which he starts killing like everyone wtf
AHEM
another favorite moment arc of mine is the very beginning
like the first 15ish episodes
IRUKA SENSEI
he’s such a blessing. he’s literally one of those crucially important side characters and i appreciate him and i love him and it would’ve been nice to see more of him, but hey, that’s okay too.
(his part in the naruto road to ninja movie had me in tears. like at the end. fucking tears.)
like naruto and kakashi may be super close and stuff, but when he needs someone as a guardian, naruto turns to iruka and idk i feel that says a lot about their relationship and it makes me cry all the fucking time
um anyways yes i also love zabuza
he’s so strong and empowered
AND THAT WHOLE ARC MADE ME CRY A LOT TOO AND THE FACT THAT IT BECOMES SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY
i have a lot more the say probably but it’s getting late and i need to take a shower and sleep and get up early in the morning to make food so i’ll just leave it at that
(i wrote a lot i know i’m sorry)
(hope i didn’t blow you away with any spoilers D:)
#my naruto gushing got a bit out of hand but i regret nothing#also when i say i cry#I ACTUALLY CRY#LIKE FULL ON CRYING#I NOW HAVE A BOX OF TISSUES ON MY DESK BECAUSE OF THIS#replies#love people#polarbearchan
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